Days That Drift

When I was at home with the children during the day, I used to dream and plan what I would do when they went to school. Those would be the days of freedom and of moving my life forwards.

When my youngest son started school, I was advised to just relax for a year. Looking back, I don’t think that was the best advice.

When you have had years and years of your life consisting only of cleaning and childcare, rediscovering yourself is a challenge.

You have the day available from half past eight in the morning until a quarter to four in the afternoon. Hours when you could be doing something constructive. So why does it not happen?

It might sound extreme but apparently when lifers (prisoners with life sentences) go from closed conditions to open prisons, many refuse to go very far at all in the prison grounds never mind further afield. Their comfort zone has become limited after years of confinement. They can only take a few steps day by day. Having worked in prisons, this is not me talking daft by the way. It is a recognised phenomena. I think this happens to some stay at home mums too when presented with time and freedom.

On Coronation Street this week, Katie said how she could not even remember what music she liked after just a few weeks of parenting. What happens 2 years, 5 years or 10 years later?

In September, I set up Groovy Mums and that has certainly helped me move forwards. Whether it has helped others seems a little unclear to me at the moment.

So there is progress but there are too many days that drift. Today and this is very unusual these days, I stayed in my pyjamas until 4 in the afternoon. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, why bother? I dug deep and now am changed into clean clothes and smelling rather lovely if I do say so myself.

I wonder whether I should set myself timetables for day like I would if I was in a job. Otherwise, it is way too easy for life to consist of housework and daytime telly.

Even when I think about writing the timetable, it feels daunting. How do I fill my days with positive things? Which is odd because I know I want to walk, exercise, read, plan a business and so on.

Does anyone else have days that just seem to drift away with nothing much achieved? How can that be changed?


8 thoughts on “Days That Drift

  1. Every day drifts for me at the moment since emigrating, I have no one to share the days with, that’s why I joined groovy mums as what ever battle we face is isolated yet we all share something in common, the need to feel valued. I dreamed of days of nothingness when I was working and a mum to 5 and now I have it, it appears I’m not happy with it…the grass is always greener

  2. My days always seem to drift at the moment (although I do have a 20 month old) but I struggle to ‘do’ things when I get the opportunity to be on my own, or on the afternoons when she is sleeping. I think its hard to re-programme the brain to realise that its ok to do things and you won’t have to suddenly stop because baby has woken / toddler wants something NOW!. I think your doing a great job and having some ‘drifting’ days is okay.

    Also I have found Grooving Mums really helpful so please don’t be dispondant about it, I’ve been posting with you on it since the start (except a bit of a break when things were just too busy) I think I will feel slightly lost if it were to end.

  3. I have deffinate days which drift, and before I know it its school pick up time and nothing much at all has been achieved, it is diffiult but like you say with the lifers, its little steps to start with and just keep knowing your goals and trying to reach them x

  4. I feel like this too, i plan lots in my head and then can’t find the motivation on the day to do anything. I have taken a saturday job and this has really helped bring back the old me a bit to have a purpose. x

  5. Pingback: Mental Health Carnival « mrsshortiesmind

  6. Hi Kate,
    I think you are doing a great job.
    You sell yourself short, remember the post recently about your amazing qualities.
    Sometimes we need a few days to re-charge and gather ourselves, before moving on.
    I’m (hopefully) coming to the end of a rough couple of years and starting to think about what makes me happy. I’m not the person I was and I’m not sure who I am now. Somedays I just feel like I’ve been pregnant forever, and that’s all I am ‘pregnant’.
    But I’m starting to take steps to finding me, including a work program interview.
    I will be Groovy, so please don’t think you are not making an impact.

  7. Hi Kate, I’m in Mrs Shorties Carnival too. I might have an idea to help you out with the floating. It’s a bit of an experiment and is using Pinterest as I’ve tried Facebook before, but didn’t find it helpful.
    If you fancy it I’d love to help out – don’t worry if you don’t like it though …
    Here’s the first post to get started ..
    The rest of the posts are on my site, but put all nicely on my Pinterest board
    Thanks for sharing, I’ve really enjoyed reading this carnival – or is that wrong to enjoy reading and learning so much?

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