On Sunday morning, a true gentleman died in a hospice.
I have never not known D. I cannot remember meeting him. We have not met regularly and yet he has always being around.
At some point, he was the partner of my favourite Uncle. That relationship continued in some form right up to my Uncle’s death ten years ago. D was always there for my Uncle who was lovely at best and hellish at worst due to alcoholism amongst other things.
My father visited D just before he died. D had siblings at a distance both geographically and emotionally. He had spoken to them recently via telephone purely to inform them where he was.
We are now in a rather strange position. As we are not family members, we have no means of finding out when the funeral will be easily. We have to wait and see if we can find out via the church he attended or in the hope of hearing from his solicitor. It is a very odd feeling not being caught up in the arrangements that normally follow a death of somebody close. D was a very private person so everything is a bit of mystery.
For me, several strong memories of D remain.
I remember the glamorous Christmas cards he used to send from London. They were the expensive type and were given pride of place by my mother.
I remember D being the only person who could really comfort me when my Uncle died. I felt only he could understand just how deeply I loved my Uncle. I remember being standoffish in my grief but literally throwing myself at D when I saw him. Respect to him for hugging me tight which did not come naturally to him.
I remember D attending our wedding and saying that he was glad to be “still part of the clan”.
I remember D attending my mother’s funeral and reading the eulogy I wrote for her whilst also telling us all how she was “a one-off”.
Rest in Peace D, still in the hearts of this clan.
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Kate on Thin Ice 