Grandma We Love You. It’s Just Mum We Are Not Sure About.

My mum died in 2009. On the day of her funeral, an idiot woman told me my children would not remember her as they were too young.

On Sunday morning, I had a bit of a lie-in and was joined by my 8 and 6 year old children.

“Do you remember Grandma?”

Both nodded enthusiastically.

“Well, I do but I can’t quite remember exactly what she looked like” said my daughter.

“I do” replied my son, “She had glasses and brown curly hair. She smiled all the time and never got angry with us even when we were really naughty”.

“Do you miss your Grandma?”

“Topsy turvy” commented my son waving his hand in a comme ci comme ca manner.

“What I can tell you Mum is that you should be more like her and when we are naughty, just smile and get us a kit kat like she used to do”.

I remember Mum being angry a lot, a woman frustated by her lack of options as I sometimes am.

It was interesting to note that my children had not seen that side to her.

Oh well, maybe there is hope of me being a good Grandma even if I am clearly a woefully inadequate Mum.

4 thoughts on “Grandma We Love You. It’s Just Mum We Are Not Sure About.

  1. You are most certainly not woefully inadequate, I’ve read your blog! You are wonderful! I seem to spend most of my day telling my eldest off & feeling frustrated. I remember, as a child, my mum was all most frightening & quite strict. As I got older I guess I saw her for the woman she was & with my children, my mum is like another different woman. My parenting is similar to that of my mums, I’m fairly strict & often cross. A grandmother’s relationship is such a different dynamic & I’m sure you’ll have the Kit Kats at the ready!

  2. I feel your pain. I was paranoid that my Mum would become irrelavent’, a face in a black and white photo wearing old fashioned clothes. or just an old lady with nothing interesting to say. It was my worry about my kids not remembering my Mum (she died when one was 5 and the other not even born) that prompted me to do something about it (I created a website – don’t want to be impertinent and link to it here but u can find it on my Blog). This helps me to keep her memory alive, and more importantly, to record the memories I make with my kids myself – one day I’ll be gone too. It’s my duty, right?

  3. this is one of the main reasons I started my blog, so that in future years my grandchildren can look back at the fun we had, the things we did, and the joy they brought me.
    And I will say it is much easier to be a sweet smiling nothing appears to ruffle you gran when you dont have them and all that is involved with them 24/7.
    We do things together ( say go the park) where as granddaughter would not go to the park with her mum now she is 9, so as a mum you worry they are ok whilst out your sight etc….just all you mums wait your turn to be a gran should come.
    Kate – as I tell people it is only a good parent who worries/thinks they are bad cos bad parents dont give a toss….

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