Aaarrgh! Teenager In Training Alert.

Do you ever fear as a mum that you are not up to the task?

I remember finding establishing sleep patterns difficult and don’t even get me started on potty training, discipline and so much more besides.

I am a mummy who loves her children very much indeed. I am not a mummy who glides gracefully through it all. Are there any out there really?

My current difficulties is the sudden change in my 11 year old son. Overnight, he has gone from Mr Sweet and Sensitive to Mr Angry and By the Way It’s All Your Fault Mum!

Of course, he is still lovely. His outbursts tend to be short-lived and followed by hugs and a reflection on what has gone wrong.

It is not easy for him. He is a bright boy and quite shy which does not make for popularity in the school playground. He has lots of experience of being bullied, the sanction imposed on those of us who insist on being ourselves.

He resents his younger brother and sister and will say categorically that I should never have had other children. He veers between wanting them as playmates and rejecting them totally.

He will come out with illogical statements. I am accused of being in London all the time. The truth is in the last few years, I have gone to London just twice and only for one day each time. He has a big issue with Twitter and my blogging taking time away from him. This I can take on board and ensure that these things do not intrude on his time,

He wants to play but do I really have to succumb to the dubious delights of the X-Box? Perhaps the truth is that I do.

I worry that he is too like me and will give himself a hard time. Trying to protect him, I am sure sometimes I say totally the wrong thing. I hear myself coming out with homespun wisdom that as well as being rubbish also sounds uncannily like my own mother.

Is angst just part of growing up? He has a Mum and Dad who are together. He has a Dad who works. In many ways, he is better off than many children.

I need to help him navigate the difficult years ahead.

Am I up to the task?

I hope so because I love him very much indeed.

8 thoughts on “Aaarrgh! Teenager In Training Alert.

  1. I keep hearing myself coming out with all the stuff my mum used to say which annoyed me at the time lol!
    I think if he actually wants to play Xbox with you, that’s a really lovely sign and maybe you will end up liking it hehe 🙂

  2. I think the very fact that you are asking yourself these questions mean you are going to get through the teen stage just fine!
    Not everyone can acknowledge all the points you just did! My daughter also takes great pains to point out that I use twitter: blogs too often, if age is awake when in on the laptop she will crawl across it on my lap so I turn it off!

  3. I am right there with you at the mo! My eldest is 12, and a veritable Jeckyll and Hyde. Also it’s like a teenage room monster has appeared overnight. Much shouting, sulking, brother-baiting, and mood swings. Arrrrghhh

  4. My son is 12, and certainly has a few ‘teenage tendencies’ creeping up on us (eye rolling, answering back, heavy sighing when asked to do anything etc), though
    he’s quite sweet-natured and jolly good company most of the time.

    I hesitate to offer any sort of advice, being no supermum myself – actually the antithesis, if I’m honest – but it sounds from what you write as though maybe your son is directing anger at you that comes from other issues (school? bullying?) in his life. Resenting the time you spend blogging and on Twitter, and saying you’re ‘always in London’ when you’ve been twice for one day over a period of years sounds a little bit extreme.

    Hope you get it sorted, anyway x

  5. The joys of teenage boys, I hesitate to try and offer any advice because we have plenty of the same going on, just part of life I guess. However when it comes to the XBox/Playstation subject I do have the view that some involvement is a good thing. Certainly it is not a replacement for other activities, but video games are a part of modern life which is difficult to ignore, my solution has always been to embrace this technology which seems to work, they still spend most of their time outside anyway.
    That may not of made much sense, but if it does then I hope it helps:)

  6. You do know that once you crack this moment there’s a new one to solve just around the corner right? having two older kids (now 24 and 21) I have been there and seen it, it’s a helter skelter but we came out ok, I think the secret is in always being open and talking to them no matter what x

  7. Many of my friends (and my parents too) tell me I’m a great mum, a diligent, loving, caring, conscientious mum. Sometimes I feel I’m a bit of a fraud. I should bake more (I don’t bake), I should learn some new recipes (cooking is a form of purgatory for me) but I do love my sons very very much. They both have a love of music which I hope has come from me, they both have wonderful senses of humour (which for a child with autism is quite marvellous) and I hope beyond hope that I do my best for them. Don’t beat yourself up. He’s at that age, it’s going to happen, my 13 yr old is now away at boarding school and we are getting along like a house on fire. There was a time I would ring his father and ask him to come and remove him from my house because he was being so vile! You love him, that’s the No 1 issue. The rest we make up as we go along!! Chin up!

  8. The answer to your problem is Bananas! Weird I know but they work. I was told by a food friend (a parent and Dr) that part of the issue with boys at that age is the testosterone rushes which are a pre cursor to adulthood. It drops their sugar levels, and causes the sudden onset temper and then tears/cuddles. If you feed them a banana at the first inkling it helps to re balance everything, I’m told it the potassium and fruit sugar that does it – but I’m no scientist I found there was a pattern to the temper rush and we could try and avoid it by eating the banana before it started. Doesn’t always work, but often does. Splosh’s pattern was after school, just about tea time, being tired didn’t help, so on a busy or tiring day always collected them from school armed with bananas to avoid the sugar slump!

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