Have you missed me?

I have not blogged for some time and feel I need to get back into some semblance of life again.

We have moved house.  We live in a lovely house but something or rather somebody is missing.

I should be getting ready for my regular Friday date with my lovely Dad for our fish and chip lunch in town.

Dad passed away after a shockingly short illness on Sunday, 23rd September 2012 as the seasons changed.

He hung on longer than expected by the medics perhaps looking for one last adventure.

In the end I had to tell him it was alright to go and we would be fine.

The truth is I am not sure I will be OK.

I was doing reasonably well till this week.  Strong in fact fuelled by good wishes from far and wide.

We had the funeral on Monday and it was a good reflection of the themes of Dad’s life – family, food and drink, the sea and police and community service.

Now I feel tearful, exhausted and downbeat.

The worst bit is that I get this sense all the time that this is all a dream or rather a nightmare and that although a scarily real one, I must wake up at some point.

My faith is that when Mum died blogging helped me start a new chapter.  I am hoping it can do the same this time round.

Blogging about Dad may prove cathartic.

People email me and say I do not need to face the grief alone.  Maybe they are right.  Maybe I will find a way.

Whether I like it or not, I have to start the new chapter.

Where do I go from here?

10 thoughts on “Have you missed me?

  1. We have missed you Kate. You make a big difference to so many people. I think Time is the only Healer. Understanding the grief never fully leaves, because part of you has been taken, it only becomes easier to accept. That can take a long time. Never be made to feel rushed. You are entitled to feel that devastation that the passing of someone so important to you creates.xxx

  2. I have no answers. Except focus on the good things and times. Am so sorry for your loss. Do hope that you can find away through your grief that suits you. Sending strength and best wishes. You were missed. X

  3. Dear Kate, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. I don’t have any words of wisdom. Perhaps focus on the happy times, the memories, even recording them. Dig out the posts your Dad wrote for this blog and smile and laugh. I am sure were your Dad were he looking down, he would not want you to be sad for long. Be kind to yourself and take things at your own pace. x

  4. So, so sorry to hear about your Father. Having suffered a loss myself, I know that time heals if you let it. Cherish those memories with him. I was thinking about you yesterday before you posted – it’s lovely to see you blog again. You have been missed xx

  5. I am so sorry for your loss. Moving house and your dad dying all at once is so difficult. I’m not surprised you’re tearful, exhausted and downbeat, that’s the very least of what you could be feeling. I don’t have any smart ideas about what will help you heal except the usual – time passing, blogging, and looking after yourself. Sending courage and love, Ellen x

  6. Hello Kate. Lovely to have you back. I am very, very sorry to hear about your Dad. Take each minute, each breath, at a time at the moment – blog if and when you need to. Given the amount of change and trauma you have experienced of late, its not surprising you are feeling the way you are feeling – be very gentle on yourself. Sending strength and love. OM. X.

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