I am not feeling very cheerful at all if the truth be known.
Trying to arrange for my husband to see his daughters from his first marriage and their children has resulted in all of them seeing me as a pain. You would think I was trying to do something evil rather than trying to facilitate contact between them and see that their children get presents. It won’t surprise you to know that I got most of the presents and wrapped them all. I am quite down-hearted about it all.
As for Christmas, I am not sure my heart is fully in it this year. I keep thinking of how Dad loved his mince pies and Christmas cake and then I remember he is not here. I keep wondering where he has got to as if he just on a journey and late back home.
That makes me impatient with a man and his daughters who could see each other and be a family this Christmas. Of course, I asked them to help me this year (considering my loss and so on) by arranging things for themselves but it didn’t happen. It never does unless I stick my oar in and then when I do, they all want to tell me how I have got everything wrong, disrupted their lives, blah, blah, blah! I should give up. I just might.
Well, there must be something to be cheerful about.
1. The letters from Santa have arrived for my children via the NSPCC. I am trying to work out when would be the best time for them to get them in their little hands.
2. I have had lots of trips to the charity shop and picked up decorations and 3 stockings just in time for Christmas.
3. My hamper arrived today with a gigantic bird in it along with just about everything you need for Christmas Day.
4. School finishes tomorrow so we can have some quality family time without living to deadlines all the time.
5. When those closest to me treat me like the proverbial, I have my online friends to fall back on to reassure myself that I am actually OK and have a right to my thoughts and feelings.
6. I lost another pound and a half when I weighed in at Slimming World this week so 10 and half pounds gone in three weeks making me a slightly less gigantic bird.
Hoping you are feeling the joy this Christmas and have a good one.
This time next week it will all be over.
Pop along to http://mdplife.blogspot.com where you will find some genuinely chirpy folks.