We have had a rotten few months of bad weather. Even the biggest fans of snow started to get fed up of it. Lack of sunshine and cold temperatures can get you down.
We have been OK but we have been working our way to a new life without my Dad. It takes time. Sometimes it feels like if you move on at all you are betraying the loved one.
This week the children came home from school and suddenly downed tools on their various video games and headed for the garden. The played on skateboards and bikes. They were clearly in their element. It made my soul sing.
On Thursday, I suddenly asked my husband if he would go to the shop and buy me a chocolate eclair. I have not had a chocolate eclair since Dad died. They are so associated with him. He always used to bring them if I had pre-menstrual tension, had thrown a fit or appeared sad in any way.
On Saturdays, when I was a child he would bring a box of cream cakes for the family from Ann’s Pantry and nine times out of ten I had the chocolate eclair.
He even bought a cake to celebrate my first period. That was back in the Eighties when men did not do that sort of thing.
I enjoyed my chocolate eclair this week. The children enjoyed playing in the sunshine in a way they have not being able to do since Granddad died.
Just before Dad got ill and when we thought the worst was us having to live in two separate houses, he said in that wise way of his, “Life changes Cath”.
It does Dad and after loss, it goes on.