Hello teenager!

Before I was a mum, a colleague told me that one day her lovely girly daughter went upstairs and the next morning someone looking like her but with an aggressive attitude came down those stairs. She was convinced that her daughter became a teenager that night.

I have a 12 year old and I think they become teenagers faster these days.

My son is lovely, shy and sensitive and very bright. We see this person a little less these days and I guess that is all part of him growing up.

How has he changed?

1. He spends less time with us wanting to be alone in his room or out with friends.

2. He is misbehaving sometimes in school for the first time ever clearly struggling to adapt to the demands of secondary school.

3. He does not always come home from school immediately and is developing a separate life of his own.

4. He is less tolerant of his brother and sister and their child-like games.

5. His moods can be all over the place presumably due to hormones raging through his body.

I wonder if I will be able to support him through this next challenging chapter. I am planning weekends so that I get some good quality one-on-one time with him so he can talk about things if he wants to. When I am with him alone, he is the boy I used to know.

I imagine he might start thinking about all things birds and bees soon. How would I react if I found him kissing someone? I know this happens but I was the girl who waited till her late twenties to give the opposite sex a look-in so how can I support him as he starts forming those sorts of relationships? Deep down, I don’t approve of these early shenanigans. Never mind lock up your daughters! Where is the key and can I persuade him of the benefits of a monk’s life?

There is his future to consider and I don’t have a clue what options will be available to him when he leaves school. The world is changing and the straightforward ways where you went to university or into a vocational trade are long gone. I really don’t know what to advise him particularly given the dire economic situation.

What gives me hope?

1. His Dad and I love him and will do what it takes to support him perhaps admitting that we don’t have all the answers

2. We are a small family unit but we are a strong one.

3. My son still wants hugs, will express his love for us verbally and has all those qualities that make him so special even if they get masked sometimes in the teenage madness.

4. My son has intelligence, great humour and a caring soul.

He’ll be OK. Won’t he?

8 thoughts on “Hello teenager!

  1. Great post. I’m going through just the same now! My son is nearly 12 and in year 7. It’s a tough time and I think we’ve got a long way to go. Good luck!

  2. What a lovely post and of course your boy is going to be fine. This age is where you and your husband are in the background of his life and he will choose what if anything to share with you. He may soon be bigger and stronger than you. Keep the kitchen well stocked (Pot Noodles, cheese, bread) and let him help himself between meals. Buy him deodorant if he wants. Ensure he has credit on his phone. Tell him off if he disrespects girls. When he parrots horrible sexist male comedians, point out that they are bitter creeps who never get girlfriends. This is a hugely exciting time for all of you, enjoy it.

  3. My daughter turned into a teenager late…during the summer she turned 15 but by goodness she still managed to fit everything in. It was a very intense time. It is so hard to get the balance right. All of the things you describe could be normal teenage behaviour and angst. Equally they could be a sign of a difficulty. The hardest thing I found is that regardless of how close you may have been up until this point, the teenage years are about not needing you anymore. Sometimes I think the closer you are, the more extreme the separation has to be. The best you can do is make sure your teen has access to an adult that they trust that isn’t you.And, yes, most teenagers despite the scare stories turn out just fine. Mine tried everything she could I think, but now she is blossming

  4. Of course he will. There’ll be much worse (worry) to come. Imagine him going out in a car when he’s passed his test. Or tying to support him when his baby’s been born extremely premature. It never gets easier as a parent. Teenage angst is the least of it. Enjoy them while they’re little – it’s a fact!

  5. My son went to bed one night a calm loving child. Then came down the next morning and grunted at me. I knew that was just the beginning. He’s 15 now and turning into a wonderful man. Just remember to give some space, its not easy on them x

  6. Of course he will be okay, he clearly has very supportive parents around him and that’s a good starting point 🙂 My daughter turned 13 today so I’ve had all these kind of emotions going round in me for the last few months. It’s a tough time for us all, isn’t it?

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