Changing my perspective

Last week, I posted a painful post. This week, as part of my reasons to be cheerful, I am going to look at the things I talked about in that post in a new light.

1. I have a friend that I have known since we were 4 years old. She is still in my life. Isn’t that amazing? She lives overseas now and I have not had the close relationship in terms of seeing he I would have liked but we still communicate and that is a good thing.

2. Everyone gets hurt sometimes and when you blog about hurt, it almost always helps someone else. Another awesome thing.

3. I do have friends particularly since starting blogging that I can rely on to jump to my aid when I am struggling even if it is the early hours of the morning. Generous souls indeed. I am blessed.

4. I miss important folk who I have lost through not looking after the relationships enough or through bereavement. However, I have amazing memories. The flip side of love is that you will hurt like crazy one day but it is so worth it.

5. A family member asked me for help because they recognise I am skilled in new areas. They are having to look at me in a whole new light. I am learning what I am prepared to give and what I am not.

6. Another family member deceives me but I know this and that gives me power.

7. My step-children don’t come to see us at all despite us asking them to do so. (Number one more than 2 years ago, number 2 more than 5 years ago, number 3 – more than 8 years ago). We have gone to see them and to try to maintain contact. They are living their lives as they wish and that is their right. My children are fine knowing that their half-siblings choose not to engage with them much. This is an old issue and I resolve now to let it go.

8. My husband gets things wrong sometimes and sometimes I get worked up about things that really aren’t that important. After my angst post, he sat and listened to me at length and offered to take me out for a special meal. He is not perfect but he is there for me.

9. I am part of some amazing clubs that I never expected to be allowed entry to. I need to remember that sometimes folks are busy and that I can be over-sensitive.

10. I encourage mums to get naked on my other blog and they get some great feedback often after facing many life crises. Wonderful stuff.

11. Sometimes people see you as a strong person and don’t realise that you need a lot of propping up too. Well, isn’t it great that you view you as strong?

12. I am experimenting with clothes which means sometimes I will get it wrong and sometimes I will get it right. Plus if you go from shabby jeans and baggy tea-shirts to brightly coloured and figure-hugging dresses, you can’t really be surprised when the mums at the school gates stare a bit.

13. I miss my parents but now I can look at their photographs and smile. It was a lovely ride with them.

14. Newsflash – Prince Philip is dying and so is Nelson Mandela. So are you and so am I. At least when we are in our last days, the media won’t be in our face.

15. It is Fathers’ Day on Sunday. My children have a Dad who loves them and is still with us. We will have a fun day.

16. We were talking about the next birthday in the immediate family the other day and remembered that normally that would be Dad’s. My 7 year old son said “Just because he is dead, doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate it!” As the birthday falls in July, we will go to the sea for my sea-loving Dad and make it an annual ritual.

17. Dad treated me as a lady. I am a lady! Those who can’t see that are more to be pitied than scorned.

18. I miss Dad of course in my daily life. We have his car now and it always brings back memories of our days out together. I won’t forget Dad and my children won’t forget their grandfather.

19. Women still don’t get a fair deal in society but I do a little but to try to highlight that and change things. Just like my Mum.

20. I remember a day in London at a brand new pub where I drank cider with a friend. I thought such carefree days were gone and then I met @DownsSideUp at BritMums Live last year. The girls we used to be resurfaced and came alive again. That journey has continued this year with amazing life changes for both of us. I will be seeing her and other lovely ladies again in just 8 days time.

The future is bright. The future is naked!

Here is the painful post.

9 thoughts on “Changing my perspective

  1. this is a great post. I always view you as really strong and knowing what you are doing. I just popped over and read your other post and yes – I would add amazing to the list of characteristics to describe you too! Will be thinking of you this weekend. Sometimes the littlest things trigger our memories of our loved ones and then it is hard not to miss them so much. xxx

  2. Brave volte face. Life has been teaching me recently that loss, grief and emotional pressure make lots of things in our lives look bleak, when we wouldn’t normally perceive them in that way. I love the way you write yourself into a better place….

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